Peyton and Eli Manning 'Football Cops' Trailer

We are in day 104 of the NFL lockout and while Ochocinco is riding bulls and playing soccer, Peyton and Eli Manning are making a movie titled 'Football Cops'. Well, a trailer at least. DirecTV released the short video on their website today along with 5 different promo pictures that are equally as awesome as the video.

DirecTV - Peyton and Eli Manning star in this action-packed drama about two former pro football players who bring their unique brand of law enforcement to one of the country's toughest neighborhoods. Mike Tahoe (Peyton Manning) was living the dream as a big league quarterback, until a personal tragedy brought him back to the mean streets of his childhood. Vowing to bring those who wronged him to swift justice, he enlists the help of his best friend, and biggest rival, C.J. Hunter (Eli Manning). Both grew up together as orphans in a home for wayward boys. Both overcame the odds to become huge sports stars. Now both are the only hope for the rugged streets they once again call home.

After watching this I'm sitting down with my hand covering my face just shaking my head. It's not that it was bad, it was just the most "ugh" worthy thing I've seen in the past month. Eli's Fu Manchu is pretty money though. I'm not a Manning fan, in fact I hate them, but if they made this into a real show I'd watch it. That's not saying much but still.

Mike Francesa Rips Tiki Barber To Shreds

36-year-old Tiki Barber recently said he is going to attempt to make an NFL comeback. The same Tiki Barber that hasn't played in an NFL game since January 7, 2007. The New York Post reported that he's broke and can't pay his divorce settlement and now that he can't hold a job in broadcasting this is his only other. Or prostitution. Or he could go on radio shows and get verbally penetrated every week. I'd pay to listen to that. And yes, that is the 23-year-old NBC intern above that Tiki left his pregnant (with twins) wife and two sons for. Yeah you're right, I'd probably leave my pregnant wife for that too.

Tiki and his agent, Mark Lepselter, went on WFAN today for an interview with Mike Francesa about his comeback, Tiki's short-lived broadcasting career and how Francesa is a douche. In the legendary words of a famous San Diegan, "Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast". There's really so much greatness in this interview that you need to cut-out 30 minutes of your time to listen to the entirety of it but here are a few of the highlights with the interview below:

CBS NY - Barber: “I think you’re throwing a little bit of hyperbole out there, Mike, because I didn’t have a ‘big failure’ in broadcasting. I think if you laid the stage as you and Chris at the time tried to, that I was (to) be the next Matt Lauer, yeah, you could say it was a failure. But I had a lot of fulfillment at NBC. I did a lot of great stories that I think had impact over the three years that I was there.”

Barber: “You’re putting it in simple terms. And if that’s how you need to do it, Michael, fine, you put it in simple terms. But I don’t consider my time at NBC a failure.”

Francesa: “The guys at NBC, and I know all of them, they felt that you did a bad job and they said that they thought you were entitled. I mean, they were not complimentary about your work. Let’s not run away from that, this is part of the story.”

Barber: “If you tell me who it was and you get that person on air, I will have a debate with them. I think that’s cowardly of someone to talk behind someone’s back and not tell them, because the truth of the matter is, I don’t know what I could have done better at NBC.”

“I respect you because I think you have a great knowledge about sports and about the game of football. Do you always do it the correct way? I’m not sure. Do you interview people the correct way, because we’re talking about my life here. I’m not so sure.”

“Mike, I understand what you’re saying. You’re not wrong but you’re also not right. Because to characterize the three years that I had at NBC as abject failure is just wrong. It’s just not correct.”

Barber talked about his popularity in New York:

“You know, I grew up in Virginia, where people are cordial about everything that they do. I came and lived in New York for ten years, played in New York for ten years and realized that every single person here has an opinion. I can’t chance people’s opinions about me based on, honestly I don’t even know what.

“And so, does it hurt me? Yeah, it does, because I think in some ways people are not appreciating who I was as a player. But does it hurt me that they have an opinion that’s negative against me? Not necessarily, because they’re all entitled to it, just like I’m entitled to my own opinions about you or Joe Schmo down the street.”

And why some Giants fans dislike him:

“I’m sure it probably has to do with the fact that I criticized Tom Coughlin and he goes and wins a Super Bowl. Or the conversations that I had about Eli Manning (that) got blown out of proportion. Things like that (where) people felt like I, as someone with knowledge, was attacking somebody that I just left, when it really wasn’t. It was just giving my opinion about things, and I’ve always been opinionated. You’ve known that, Mike.”

Tony Larussa's Daughter Selected As An Oakland Raiders Cheerleader

Tony Larussa might have shingles/pink-eye right now (here and here) but that didn't stop his hot daughter, Bianca, from being selected as a 2011 Oakland Raiders Cheerleader. Bianca Larussa recently tried out and was selected to be part of the 2011 Oakland Raiders cheerleading squad, the Raiderettes, that won't have a job come September. Bianca Larussa is the kind of girl I want to hang out with. She's from a rich family, she obviously loves sports, her dad loves to drink and she has almost 2,000 followers on Twitter. She's posted 191 Twitpics so if you really want to then here you go.

Okay, I couldn't end this post with Bianca Larussa talking about how much good the Oakland Raiders do. Has she forgotten that in 2009 their most recent coach, Tom Cable, punched his assistant coach, fracturing his jaw, and then was accused of beating his two ex-wives and ex-girlfriend?

Rashard Mendenhall Shocking Osama Bin Laden Tweets

While the rest of America is celebrating the death of one of the most heinous human beings in history, Rashard Mendenhall, running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers, is on twitter questioning whether Osama Bin Laden is really a bad guy and that he's responsible for killing almost 3,000 people and taking down the World Trade Center Towers on 9/11. I was just about to go into a 10 page rant about his intelligence defying tweets but clearly Rashard Mendenhall isn't worth getting carpal tunnel syndrome over so I'll just leave you with the screenshots of his two tweets. The second of which was deleted, no doubt after his publicist saw this, her jaw dropped, refreshed the page 10 straight times because she couldn't believe it was a real tweet, then cleaned the computer screen to make sure someone didn't just write it on the monitor as a practical joke, then googled for 30 minutes to see if this was in fact Mendenhall's real twitter account, then after learning it was a "verified account" she called Biz Stone to make sure they were sure it was a verified account and when Biz confirmed it she finally called Rashard to tell him to delete it.


In 2009 Larry Johnson, the then Kansas City Chiefs running back, was suspended one game for making two anti-gay tweets and eventually released so it will be interesting to see what happens with Rashard Mendenhall. Nothing can happen right now since we are in a lock-out and teams can't even talk to their players but he will definitely face some sort of punishment as soon as it's over.

NFL Lockout Over

Well, temporarily at least. Today a judge ruled in favor of the players and ended the lockout but things are far from over. ESPN says:

U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson ordered an immediate end to the lockout Monday, siding with the players in their bitter fight with the owners over how to divide the $9 billion business.

The fate of the 2011 season remained in limbo: The NFL responded by filing a notice of appeal questioning whether Nelson exceeded her jurisdiction, seeking relief from the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in St. Louis. Hours later, the league filed a motion for an expedited stay, meaning it wants Nelson to freeze her ruling to let the appeals process play out.

What will happen in the next few days is murky, too.

Players may very well show up at team facilities on Tuesday and it appears they'll be allowed to enter the building, if they so choose.

The players' organization -- now a trade association and not a union -- emailed players late Monday night, advising them they are legally entitled to show up at team facilities Tuesday and that teams are not allowed to block their access.

The judge's ruling to end the lockout means that teams can sign and trade players until the NFL owners appeal is granted. I.e. the Foreskins can decline McNabb's option, sign Vincent Jackson and then the Vikings can sign McNabb. This is very significant as the draft starts on Thursday. While the NFL was in lockout they could only trade draft picks and not players. Most teams, if any, will not sign any one anyways. The owners will definitely get that appeal in and the lockout will probably resume soon but there is no doubt in my mind, and there never has been any, that there will be a season but this is how I am feeling right now:

Chad Ochocinco Being Awesome on Twitter

Best tweet of 2011. That is all.

Jon Gruden QB Camp with Cam Newton

Jon Gruden (is it weird that I know he spells his name without the "h"? Nope!) does this segment on SportsCenter called "QB Camp" where he sits down with guys that are going to get drafted and asks them questions, goes over tape, then throws with them. Most guys show some sort of competency, but not Cam Newton. Not Cam Newton. I'm pretty sure he actually TRIED to sound like a 6th grade kid playing ankle biters because there's no way someone is this dumb.

Before we get into the video, something funny happened while googling/wikipedia-ing Jon Gruden. I have the google search bar in my internet browser and it's set to automatically go to the "I'm felling lucky" search result. I typed "Jon Gurden Wiki" (mixing the "u" and "r") and what I got was this. You're welcome for that laugh out loud you just did.

When Jon Gruden starts talking about verbage and how Cam is going to have to know a much bigger playbook then spits out "Flip right double X jet 36 counter naked waglet 7 X quarter" Cam was so confused. Wait, Cam, "anything recollection to that?" Bueller? Bueller? "Um. Oh man, you putting me on the, on the, on the spot." Okay, King George VI. "Our method is simplistic = fast. It's so simple as far as you know you look to the sideline and you see just '36' on the board and that's a play and we're off." First off, you can't even remember one play call when "put on the spot" (in an air conditioned room) and you expect a team to take you first overall and give you over $50 million guaranteed? That would be like if someone started paying me for what I do best (drinking) and when asked what an Irish Car Bomb was I couldn't list the ingredients. Plain infantile.

Second, what he just revealed is that Auburn football is like color by numbers. To be fair, every NFL team does just have a board on the sideline where they put up a number for each play and that's all you have to know. No changes at the line, no reading defenses, you just go with what the coach calls and that's that. And if Cam isn't faster than NFL linebackers oh well, the play will still work because it's on the board and Cam is running it.

And then the part after that about him being a gun and people's criticism is the ammunition. Oh.my.god. Gruden clearly wanted to say something like "You're an idiot" but bit his tongue and just went with "Mmhmm. Wanna go throw a few?".

Seriously, this guy is gonna go 1st overall? Whoever picks him is going to make the Chargers' pick of Ryan Leaf pick look genius. Here's to hoping he "falls" and the Foreskins pick him at 10!

Mike Vrabel Arrested for Theft

Apparently the NFL Lockout is hitting a lot harder than we thought. Chiefs LB Mike Vrabel, who won three Super Bowls with the Patriots and is most famous for his 11 catches all for TD's, was arrested at a casino in Indiana early Monday morning.


First of all who the fuck goes to casinos in Indiana? There is no way there are hot hookers wanting to do coke with me in Indiana and lets be honest, that's the only reason I go to casinos.

Second of all you cannot tell me this fucker is so poor already that he has to steal stuff. How dumb are these athletes that they can't even save SOME money to make it a month after their paychecks stop coming. All these players are going to be eating bread and water for a year before Daddy Jerry Jones comes back to stroke their 7-figure paychecks.

Wanna know how much I make writing this? 0 dollars. But you don't see me going around stealing from casinos! Just that little nerd whose lunch money I take every Wednesday.

Oakland Raiders WR Louis Murphy Arrested For Possession of Viagra

Oakland Raiders WR Louis Murphy was arrested Sunday morning for possession of...wait for it...if you didn't read the title of this post you are still in suspense...Viagra! Louis Murphy was in a car with Carlos Dunlap and they got pulled over for playing music too loud. Wait, playing music too loud in a car is a pull-over-able offense? According to the Gainesville Sun:

Gainesville Police Officer Thomas Harrison said he spotted Murphy's Cadillac Escalade at 100 SW First St., with the stereo playing loudly. Harrison said he told Murphy, 23, to pull over, but then Murphy continued driving to a city parking lot, where he and his passengers got out of the SUV and walked away.

Harrison flipped on his lights and ordered Murphy and the passengers to stop. Harrison said Murphy refused to present identification and demanded to know why Harrison stopped him. Harrison said Murphy continued to refuse to show his ID and so Harrison attempted to place him in handcuffs, but, he said, Murphy refused to put his hands behind his back. It took three officers to place the 6-foot-2-inch, 180-pound NFL player into custody.

Harrison said Murphy consented to a search of his vehicle, where officers found a “non-labeled prescription bottle containing 11 individual pills later identified as Viagra.” Murphy could not provide a prescription for it and allegedly told the officer that he had peeled the label off of the bottle “because he did not want his girlfriend to know he had a prescription for it.”

Ah yes, the classic "don't want my girlfriend knowing I have a Viagra prescription" excuse. Usually works every time.

Dez Bryant Owes a Jewelry Store Over $267k

Jesus, athletes love to just blow money away. Earlier in the week Billy Blog wrote about Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather winning over $37,000 during the Bulls game. Well unless you're as dumb as Rain Man, you know he doesn't post about the bets he loses. And trust me, he loses a lot.

Now apparently Cowboys' wide receiver Dez Bryant, who was earlier kicked out of a mall for sagging his pants, owes a jewelry store $267k. How the fuck do you owe someone $267k? I can't even spell that much money (hint why I'm only writing $267k).


See the problem here is Dez didn't go to Jacob the Jeweler like all the other badasses in the industry do. Whenever I need to get some new "ice" and "bling up" with the mad "bitches" in my "hood", I just call the Jeweler and he sends me one. It's one of the benefits here at Ugg Boots.

Clearly Dez needs to start hanging out with Lindsay Blowhan, a regular customer in court for stealing jewelry. I'm sure the two of them would love to hang out all day and talk about how hard their lives are and how everybody is out to get them. Then I would walk by and roundhouse kick Blowhan before Stonecold Stunning Dez. Cause that's what I do. If Dez really wants to be "hood" he should keep following in Lindsay's footsteps and drop his last name. From now on his name is just "Dez" and nothing more.

NFL Votes to Change Kickoff Rules

NFL owners voted today 26-6 in favor of changing the rules of kickoffs. The rule change moves the kickoff from the 30 to the 35-yard line. This rule was changed because kickoffs are really dangerous and the thinking was that this would create more touchbacks. It will be interesting to see if teams decide to have their kicker kick it high and to the goal line forcing teams to return it. The coverage team starts 5 yards closer to the kick returner so in theory they should be able to get to the returner quicker and pin them inside the 20.

Kick returners are all pissed off about this rule change but I think we are forgetting that we're still in a lockout and there might not even be a season. How about the NFL owners focus on ending the lockout instead of being big vaginas and constantly changing the rules to "protect the players" even though the players don't want the rules changed.

Tom Brady Signs Endorsement Deal With UGG Boots

Tom Brady, the NFL's best/most stylish/player with the hottest wife, has signed an endorsement deal with UGG Boots. If this isn't perfect material for this blog I don't know what is. Apparently UGG Boots wants to "reintroduce itself to the masculine demo". Ummmm, how about you just sign a deal with us? We'll bring you the male demographic you want. In fact, I think I'm going to buy a pair of UGGs and make them cool for guys to wear before Tom Brady does.

Angel Martinz, CEO of Deckers Outdoor, the company that owns UGG Boots, said, "He’s the guy every guy I know wants to be". He also said, "We have decided that we needed to just get the word out there that it's a brand for guys, give guys permission to wear UGG. And who better to give guys permission to wear UGG than ... Tom Brady." You know what Angel, I couldn't agree more...now e-mail us to set up our endorsement deal.

Just because we can't do a Tom Brady post without mentioning Gisele Bundchen numerous times, she was in St. Barts on Tuesday shooting for Victoria's Secret. At one point during the shoot she got into a van and changed clothes. Luckily paparazzi were present to take pictures of her changing. For five awesome (i.e. naked) pictures of it click here.

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Randy Moss To Be Traded Back To The Vikings?

Multiple sources are telling Ugg Boots that the New England Patriots will trade Randy Moss back to the Minnesota Vikings. This is a huge trade for the Vikings who desperately need a deep threat after WR Sidney Rice had hip surgery earlier in the summer. It hasn't been specified what the Pat's will get in return but the trade is apparently a done deal. We'll report as soon as we can when the deal is finalized.




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Denver Bronco's WR Kenny McKinley Found Dead At Home

Denver Broncos wide receiver Kenny McKinley was found dead in his home Monday in an apparent suicide. Authorities were called to McKinley's house at 3:45 pm to find the wide-out dead in his bedroom by an apparent self-inflicted gunshot. McKinley was a second year receiver who was currently on the team's IR list with a left knee injury.


Coach Josh McDaniels issued this statement: "Kenny had a promising future on the football field, but more importantly, he was a great teammate whose smile and personality could light up the room. This is a tragic loss for our football team, and his family is in all of our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time."

The Bronco's have been haunted by some recent incidents as both cornerback Darrent Williams and running back Damien Nash were recently killed. Most players chose not to comment on the death.

Reggie Bush To Return Heisman

Reggie Bush is a fucking g. He banged Kim Kardashian, had an amazing college career, and now is a Super Bowl winner. You think he cares if he has to give back the trophy? Not a fucking chance. I'm sure he got tired of all the attention and negative press so he probably just said, "Fuck it you can have it back". Bush gave some lame quotes about how important the trophy was to him and his team but I stopped reading cause I didn't see anything about Kim or her tits.


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Ryan Grant Out For Season

That massive "FUUUUUCK" you just heard? Yeah, that's both fantasy owners and Packer fans crying their eyes out. Grant tore an ankle ligament in Sunday's win against the Eagles. He will require surgery and will most likely be on crutches 8-12 months. Packers Coach Mike McCarthy described the injury as "severe" and Grant was put on the season ending injured reserve list earlier today.

Also, in case you're wondering... I did this post on my iPad, bitches.

Brett Favre is Returning... I Think

Not that anybody really gives a shit about Favre during the offseason anymore, but apparently he has flown into Minnesota to meet with team officials. I'm shocked, I never thought he would come back. Oh wait never-mind, I was 100% positive all along that he would return. Brett Favre loves the attention and hates the training camp so he just pulls this shit yearly to get what he wants. He's probably getting more money so he can buy more Wranglers. Piece of shit. Only kicker Ryan Longwell is saying he said "yes" but we all know he's coming back.


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Colts Lineman John Gill Found in Ditch and Arrested

Is it just a coincidence that Gill not only looks like John Belushi but acts like him to?

For the 2nd time in less than a year defensive tackle John Gill has been arrested for public intoxication. This time he was found without a car or any shoes on and in a ditch on the side of the road at 4 a.m. Sunday. It must have been a really good night. Passing out and barfing on yourself is one thing but passing out in a ditch with no shoes is a whole other level. His season is likely over after this latest incident and the Colts are exploring rehab options. Team president Bill Polian said...

"He's got a problem clearly that unfortunately many Americans are familiar with, either in their family or the workplace. So, the No. 1 priority for him is to get treatment and we're in that process right now."

I'm pretty sure the reason he started drinking in the first place was because he has to live in that shit-hole of a city. The good news is the Colts won't miss him because he sucks. He only played in 2 games last year (the last 2 of the season) after the Colts had already locked up the #1 seed in the AFC. They just so happened to lose both the games he played in (their only 2 losses on the season).

Gill's options now are to either join Lindsay Lohan in rehab or sign with the Bengals. I'm guessing he chooses rehab because being in Cincinnati will likely drive him to drink even harder.

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Tim Tebow Rookie Hazing Haircut

Even Tim Tebow isn't immune to rookie hazing. LenDale White posted the above picture to his Twitter account Saturday after the Broncos gave Tebow the best haircut of all-time. The more important part of this story was that it informed me LenDale White is now on the Broncos. Who knew. Is it just me or does the shape of the new haircut beg to have a crown of thorns on it. It just seems like it would fit so well.

Brett Favre to Retire - or So He Says

Tell me if you've heard this before - Brett Favre announced today that he will retire. Apparently he was texting his teammates and coaches late last night about his decision but I am not going to believe anything he says about retiring until we are 4 weeks into the season. The man retires more than the Vick family gets arrested.

Let's put his retirement history in perspective:

January 20, 2008 - cry baby Brett after the Packers loss in the NFC Championship game to the Giants talking about how it might have been his last game.

March 6, 2008 - Favre holds a press conference to officially announce his retirement.

Summer 2008 - Mr. Wrangler decided retirement wasn't for him and was traded to the New York Jets.

February 2009 - Favre announces his retirement AGAIN after a disappointing season with the Jets (22 TD/22 INT)

August 2009 - Favre joins the Vikings

Everyone knows he'll announce that he isn't retiring in a few weeks and then do the exact same thing next year. This is my view of the situation: