Manny Ramirez on Retirement

I would have rather seen Manny Ramirez serve the 100 game suspension and come back to a Rays team that was 0-106. Wait, they won a game? How did that happen? Oh, they scored 5 in the 9th off of a closer that's about to lose his job. That at least makes some sense. I still would have taken "Manny gets caught roiding" odds over "Day that Damon gets 2nd stolen base". ESPN had a quote from Manny where he said:

"I'm at ease. God knows what's best [for me]. I'm now an officially retired baseball player. I'll be going away on a trip to Spain with my old man."

HAHAHAHA. Manny was always a big douche but I never had anything against him. Yeah, he forced his way out of Boston but I thank him for that because he did it at a perfect time. His value plummeted after he left. That trade just further proved how much of a genius Theo Epstein is. Also, he won us some championships so there's that.

BREAKING NEWS - Manny Ramirez Retired

Wow. Manny Ramirez missed yesterday's game "while attending to a family matter". MLB informed Manny yesterday of an "issue" relating to drugs and apparently he was facing a 100 game suspension so rather than deal with that he just decided to retire. Buster Olney tweeted "Manny had been notified pending issue with drug/treatment program.Take this for what it's worth:Manny looked much bigger in spring training." Oh I'll take it for what it's worth. Cough *roids* cough. Actually get rid off the *cough*, Manny was juicing his ass off. He makes Jack LaLanne look like an amateur. Too soon?


What a badass though, right? He knew how strict the MLB is with their performance enhancing drug testing and suspensions. He failed a drug test two years ago and was suspended for 50 games. And yet he still did it. Then even more badass, when they caught him and he realized he would be suspended for 100 games he decided to stick it to them and just retire.

MLB released a statement that said:

"Major League Baseball recently notified Manny Ramirez of an issue under Major League Baseball's Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program," the statement said. "Rather than continue with the process under the Program, Ramirez has informed MLB that he is retiring as an active player. If Ramirez seeks reinstatement in the future, the process under the Drug Program will be completed. MLB will not have any further comment on this matter."

Brett Favre is Returning... I Think

Not that anybody really gives a shit about Favre during the offseason anymore, but apparently he has flown into Minnesota to meet with team officials. I'm shocked, I never thought he would come back. Oh wait never-mind, I was 100% positive all along that he would return. Brett Favre loves the attention and hates the training camp so he just pulls this shit yearly to get what he wants. He's probably getting more money so he can buy more Wranglers. Piece of shit. Only kicker Ryan Longwell is saying he said "yes" but we all know he's coming back.


Source

Brett Favre to Retire - or So He Says

Tell me if you've heard this before - Brett Favre announced today that he will retire. Apparently he was texting his teammates and coaches late last night about his decision but I am not going to believe anything he says about retiring until we are 4 weeks into the season. The man retires more than the Vick family gets arrested.

Let's put his retirement history in perspective:

January 20, 2008 - cry baby Brett after the Packers loss in the NFC Championship game to the Giants talking about how it might have been his last game.

March 6, 2008 - Favre holds a press conference to officially announce his retirement.

Summer 2008 - Mr. Wrangler decided retirement wasn't for him and was traded to the New York Jets.

February 2009 - Favre announces his retirement AGAIN after a disappointing season with the Jets (22 TD/22 INT)

August 2009 - Favre joins the Vikings

Everyone knows he'll announce that he isn't retiring in a few weeks and then do the exact same thing next year. This is my view of the situation: