Red Sox Sign Adrian Gonzalez for 7 years-$154 million

That headline should read: Red Sox Suck and They Love to Waste Money.

Well thats not true cause Gonzo is without a doubt a top-5 first baseman but I just hate the Red Sox right now. Both Billy Blog and I are die-hard Sawx fans and right now we are dying hard. After what might be the best offseason ever, the Sox are looking as bad as Lindsay Lohan's chances of staying out of jail. They can't hit when their pitching does well and they can't pitch when they're hitting does well. Basically they suck and I won't be surprised at all if they finish 13-149.


Anyways, the Sox signed Gonzo to a 7 year, 154 million dollar contract. Gonzalez receives a $6 million signing bonus, $21 million per year from 2012-16 and $21.5 million per year in 2017 and 2018.The contract also possess a partial no-trade clause. Hopefully this will inspire the Sox to quit sucking dick and start winning some games.

Yankees, Mariano Rivera Agree To 2-Year Deal

Mariano spits on the ball during the 2009 playoffs

The Yankees and 41-year-old closer Mariano Rivera agreed Thursday to a 2-year contract worth $30 million. Mariano has played his entire career with the Yankees and everyone expected them to re-sign him. Mariano, or "Mo" as idiotic Yankees fans call him, has 559 career saves, the second most in MLB history, behind Trevor Hoffman (or as my roommate likes to call him - Hoffy-poo). The 2nd most saves in MLB history is 2nd on the list of "greatest things Mariano Rivera has done". The first, this commercial...

This contract matches the yearly salary Mariano signed three years ago with the Yankees (3 years, $45 million). The Yankees still have to re-sign Derek Jeter and then are expected to sign Cliff Lee.

Tim Tebow Signs 5-year Deal with Broncos

Tim Tebow signed a 5-year deal worth $11.25 million with the Denver Broncos today. The contract has $8.7 million guaranteed and the possibility for him to make as much as $33 million. He will have to complete numerous incentives to receive $33 million. As NBC points out...

"Tebow's incentives are broken down into playing time and performance escalators. If Tebow can reach every playing time trigger and become the consistent starting quarterback (possibly soon), he could make up to $24 million over five years.

Another $9 million is tied up in escalators for difficult goals like Pro Bowls, playoff wins, and Super Bowl appearances."

It will be extremely difficult for him to reach all the incentives, as one NFL person pointed out Tebow will "have to make Peyton Manning look like a fool." Tebow held a press conference immediately after signing the contract to announce he would be building churches and buying more Super Bowl commercial air time with some of his guaranteed money. He was also glad to get the contract situation figured out so that he would have more time to convert Amar'e Stoudemire to Baptist before he joined, as he called it, "the devil's religion".

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