Cardinals-Reds Brawl

God I love baseball. I love the excitement, the energy, the disappointment, and the bench-clearing brawls. After Brandon Phillips became my favorite MLB player by saying how much he hates the Cardinals, the 2B earned even more credit when he started a fight BEFORE THE FIRST PITCH. If you missed it, Brandon Phillips recently told Dayton Daily News:

"I'd play against these guys on one leg. We have to beat these guys. All they do is bitch and moan about everything, all of them. They're little bitches, all of them. I really hate the Cardinals. Compared to the Cardinals, I love the Chicago Cubs. Let me make this clear: I hate the Cardinals."

I love this. Not enough players come out and hate rivals like they're suppose to. I fucking hate everything about the Yankees but sometimes I wonder if MVPedroia or Youuuuuuuk does. Seeing a player come out and tear at a rival/ biggest competition to the pennant is awesome to hear and really gets fans riled up. So Dustin, if you're reading, come out and say "Fuck the useless piece of shit Yankees and I hope Tex gets hit by a car."

Now if you aren't a MLB fan, you might not know that the Reds are currently in a series with the Cardinals, so it was almost needless to say there would be some kind of fight. But before the first pitch? Fuck me that's awesome.

Brandon Phillips is the Reds lead off hitter so he took the batter box right off the bat. Apparently Brandon Phillips tapped his bat on Molina's shinguards (which isn't rare for a hitter when taking the box), but Molina didn't like it. In reality, Molina was probably just looking for a fight and I'm sure they were both jawing at each other. Immediately, helmets were off and masks were thrown before the benches cleared.

Here's a great video of the incident:

Chicken Nugget Rampage

We've all been drunk and craved something specific. And unfortunately, sometimes its just impossible to get that food. Now most people will just unhappily decide to get something else from McDonalds, but not Melodi Dushane. She was so upset she couldn't get her 6 pack of McNuggets that she decided to attack the worker and the window. Bitch it was 6:30 in the morning! The McDonalds breakfast is better than the dinner anyway! Get a McGriddle! Anyway, enjoy the video its hard not to.

Good stuff starts at 1:18

Brawl at Kindergarten Graduation Over Lakers Facebook Comments

Two women were charged with misdemeanors yesterday after getting into a fight during their kids kindergarten graduation ceremony in June. The fight allegedly stemmed from a comment made on facebook about the Lakers between one of the kids mothers and another kids grandmother. Yes, a fight at a kindergarten graduation happened because of comments made on facebook about the Lakers. The article says...

"'This all started because of a Facebook comment between this other woman and my grandmother about the Lakers,' said Queiona Burt, 31, one of the women arrested following a brawl that broke out at a recent Puesta del Sol Elementary School kindergarten graduation. 'But I want to apologize to the school and the community and say this is not what I’m about. I was trying to defend myself.'"

The exact facebook comments were not known but are said to have involved one of the women trash talking the Lakers and the other taking offense to it. The other lady was probably a Clippers fan and just had so much built up anger that she did what any rational person would do - take to facebook to let it all out against her cross-town rival. Everyone knows Lakers fans are big babies and can't handle trash talking so I'm guessing that's where things started going wrong. I imagine the conversation then went something like this:

Lakers fan: "Oh no you did not just call Kobe a bitch"
Clippers fan: "Uh huh I did. What you 'gon do about it slut?"
Lakers fan: "I'ma whoop your hooker ass and claw a bitch up next time I see you."
Clippers fan: "Just because Kobe pays you to suck his dick you don't have to get all defensive."
Lakers fan: "Next time I see you I'm going to beat yo ass so hard you need another hip replacement."

That's probably about where things ended on facebook and where the ladies again did what any rational person would do - throw down at their kids kindergarten graduation to settle shit. Video of the news report is below:

Luckily for the grandmother (and unluckily for the viewers/us) her daughter stepped in to fight for her. Bother women who engaged in the fight were charged with "interference with peaceful conduct on campus and unlawful acts committed at school grounds, according to court records. If convicted, they could face up to six months in jail on the former count and up to 90 days in jail or a $400 fine on the latter count."

Mite Hockey Fight Broken Up by Mom

Hockey fights happen all the time, but not hockey fights between Mites. These little guys are teammates and get into a fight during what looks like practice. One pushes down the other and he immediately gets back up, skates toward the other kid, slashes him, throws down his stick and gloves like he's in the NHL and wants to go. Too bad his mom is a pussy and starts calling his name when something good was about to happen. Where the hell did the kid learn to thrown down his stick and gloves like that? He's either been watching too much Happy Gilmore or Mighty Ducks. We know he hasn't been watching Cindy Crosby. Can you imagine if this happened during the intermission of an NHL game when Mites scrimmage for a few minutes? Drunk dudes cheering on 6-year-olds to beat the crap out of each other - it would be like cockfighting with children.

A word to the wise, next time you are arguing over whether the McDonalds Happy Meal or Burger King Happy Meal is better, rip off each others helmets. You will get nowhere in the fight with helmets on. At least they will be prepared for when they reach the "locker boxing" age.

Vince Young Hates ATM Fees

Apparently Vince Young gets mad when people talk bad about 2 things: his money and his Texas Longhorns. He was at Club Onyx, a strip club, in Dallas this weekend when he needed to replenish his funds from the ATM. I guess he was having fun. He got upset that the ATM had a surcharge (really Vince, you have millions of doll-hairs and you are complaining about a $2 charge at the ATM?!?) and started talking to the manager. Well that's where things started going wrong because the manager was a fan of the Oklahoma Sooners and apparently said "Fuck the Longhorns". Vince then clocked the guy in the face. Some surveillance video of the incident is below.

I don't blame him for standing up for his Longhorns but to get mad at a surcharge at the ATM? C'mon Vince, you're better than that. He has since apologized for the actions and admitted it was a bad decision to go to the club that night. He received a misdemeanor assault citation with a fine up to $500. The NFL hasn't commented on the situation but he will probably receive some sort of suspension as they like to make examples of people. In the meantime he is praying. He told ESPN, "I pray to God that Roger Goodell doesn't come down hard on me, because I definitely want to be here for my teammates."

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