Don Mattingly Looks High on 'Lopez Tonight'

Los Angeles Dodgers manager Don Mattingly was on 'Lopez Tonight' tonight? Last night? I don't know when you're reading this post. "Tonight tonight" doesn't sound right so it can't be that.

Is Don Mattingly high here? I almost feel stupid asking that question. He's 50 with a soul patch. He might as well be at a 7/11 at 3am buying microwaveable snacks and chex mix. During this interview they show a highlight from his playing days and it's of him stealing popcorn from a 4-year-old. I mean, really? Mark Cuban really needs to buy the Dodgers now.

Lakers Coach Mike Brown Seems Awesome on Lopez Tonight

Mike Brown seems like a really cool dude. I want to hate the guy because he coached Lebron for 5 years in Cleveland and anyone associated with those teams is automatically a doucher but after watching him on Lopez Tonight tonight (redundant? yeah okay, I'm just trying to distract you from the fact that I was watching Lopez Tonight) I sort of want to like the man. But, he coaches the Lakers now so that can't happen. Most of this interview is just about the Lakers and how he got the job so if you don't care about that skip to about 7:09 for when Mike Brown starts pimping out his son.

I love that Mike Brown isn't afraid to say to his son/on national television what everyone is thinking - that Kim is a gold digging hooker or that his son is about to spit some creepy awesome game at the hot 15 year old sister. At least Kendall is already on birth control!

Selena Gomez Loses Her Voice but Does "Lopez Tonight"

I do love me some Selena Gomez and she recently turned 18 but this interview on "Lopez Tonight" was one of the most awkward things I have ever seen. Apparently she lost her voice so she stole Stephen Hawking's text-to-speech gizmo for the interview. Yeah, shocker that she lost her voice. She probably got Jake Gyllenhoused for her birthday and was yelling the entire night. She didn't even say one word during the entire interview. She managed to laugh a few times which was even more awkward. Was it imperative that she do the interview that night? Couldn't she have waited a few days until she got her voice back? Couldn't she have used her wizard powers to get her voice back? Oh god, I just embarrassed myself on my own blog by knowing that.