Wesley Snipes Goes to Jail

Wesley Snipes, aka your shadow, aka the darkest man alive is going to jail today for a bad-ass reason. No he didn't kill anybody. No he didn't rob a bank. It's even better, tax evasion. Now I'll let you calm down from your shock for a second because I understand how terrifying of a crime that is. I'm secretly still hoping this arrest will lead to the discovery of 500 headless bodies buried underneath his house. These are the type of celebrities I love and my dying wish is to see a Wesley Snipes porn tape. With Tara Reid.