Sunday Night Baseball Drinking Game - Braves vs. Phillies Edition

Last Sunday night during the broadcast of ESPN Sunday Night Baseball between the Mets and Phillies, the news that we had killed Osama Bin Laden was released and quickly spread throughout the ballpark. The fans then erupted in a "USA" chant. Hopefully tonight there will be some equally as crazy/awesome news during the game. Like news that Anheuser-Busch made too much beer and they are giving away free beer for a week.

Bobby Valentine is quickly climbing his way up the "most annoying announcer list" so here is our Sunday Night Baseball Drinking Game to get you through the night. The "drink" rules will stay the same each week but the "chug" rule will change depending on who's playing.

Drink every time:

ESPN uses the behind the plate camera view
They use K-Zone during an at-bat (one drink per batter)
Bobby Valentine says something that makes you want to mute the TV
The ump and K-Zone disagree (2 drinks)

Chug:

Whenever the Philly crowd boos

Extra chug rule for this week:

Whenever Osama Bin Laden being killed during the Sunday Night broadcast last week is mentioned

Atlanta Braves Pitcher Derek Lowe Arrested For DUI

Atlanta Braves pitcher Derek Lowe was arrested Thursday night for DUI. ESPN says:

Gordy Wright, a spokesman for the Georgia State Patrol, said a trooper stopped Lowe's vehicle about 10 p.m. Thursday after it was spotted racing another car down an Atlanta street. The trooper detected an odor of alcohol and administered a field sobriety test, which resulted in Lowe's arrest.

The 37-year-old right-hander was charged with DUI, reckless driving and improper lane change, Wright said. Lowe declined to take a breath test before he was released, the spokesman added. The other driver was also stopped, but there were no details on whether he was charged.

"I would like to apologize to my family, teammates, fans and the Braves organization for the attention arising from this matter," Lowe said in a statement. "However, I am hopeful that this incident will not be a distraction to the Braves organization while we are focused on returning to the playoffs."

First of all let's look at the facts. Okay, the first fact has to be that Derek Lowe looks clearly Jake Gyllenhoused in that mug shot. The last time my eyes looked that red after drinking I had a 3 wise men shot plus a sixer of natty and a box of wine. Derek Lowe could hire Gloria Allred and it wouldn't help his case. Unless, of course, his case involved stimulating maple cylinders. Moving on. The night of Thursday April 28, 2011 - the Atlanta Braves had the night off. The Atlanta Hawks had just beat the Orlando Magic 84-81 to win the series 4-2. That right there should tell you everything you need to know. Derek Lowe either went to the game or went to a party to watch the game. Either way he was getting Anne Tanked.

The Braves might not be trying to be hilarious/awesome these days but they are definitely succeeding. If I got a penny for every time I was racing someone in my Porche down Peach Tree Road, I'd be a millionaire. On a serious note, Derek Lowe was a known raging alcoholic when he was with Boston. He never got pulled over there because they knew he'd help them win a World Series. And then the 4 years he was with the Dodgers, well we all know no one famous gets arrested for anything in Los Angeles.

Atlanta Braves Pitching Coach's Actions Lead To Best News Conference Of All-Time

Let me first give you some back-story and set the scene. On Saturday the Atlanta Braves played the San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park. During batting practice, Atlanta pitching coach Roger McDowell started making fun of 3 guys in the stands. No doubt those 3 guys were probably Patrick Schwasted and started heckling McDowell first. That's when things got fun:

Justin Quinn, 33, of Fresno said he was in the stands at AT&T Park in San Francisco during pregame batting practice with his wife and 9-year-old twin daughters when he noticed McDowell hectoring three men and asking them, "Are you guys a homo couple or a threesome?"

Quinn said McDowell proceeded to make crude sexual gestures with his hips and a bat.

Quinn, who was down in front of the field, then shouted, "Hey, there are kids out here," he said during a news conference at the Los Angeles office of noted attorney Gloria Allred.

Quinn alleged that the coach replied that kids don't belong at a baseball park, picked up a bat, walked up to Quinn and asked him, "How much are your teeth worth?"

Alright, that's the back-story. Now on to the best/most awkward news conference of all-time. Of.All.Time! Justin Quinn decided to hire high profile attorney Gloria Allred and they had this news conference at her office in Los Angeles:

I've watched this video about 10 times already and it gets funnier each time. Isn't it worse to bring your 9-year-old daughters to this news conference and hear an old lady saying exactly what the Braves coach said and then demoing sex with a baseball bat and their father? They are 9-year-old girls, it's a lock they were complaining about who got to sit in what seat and didn't hear all the vulgar shit that Roger McDowell said but now they certainly know. Plus their teenage years are already ruined because you know this video will surface again.

The Daily Grind - Sports Bets

Yesterday: 0-4
Overall: 0-4

Okay, so I broke rule number one of baseball betting. I bet against the Washington Nationals. I deserved to go 0 for 4. Seriously, I swing and missed more than Chad Billingsley at a frat party. He's portly.

-Dodgers vs. Giants (OVER 7.5) - 4:10 PM (MLB) - My boy Chad Billingsley will probably be too distracted by my analogy to have a pitching duel with the ever-inconsistent Barry Zito.

- Braves (+1.5) vs. Reds - 4:10 PM (MLB)

-Mariners (moneyline) vs. Twins - 7:10 PM (MLB) - King Felix and his league leading 145 strikeouts takes on the Twins in the surprisingly un-hitter friendly Target Field.

-Orioles vs. Royals (moneyline) - 7:10 PM (MLB) - Zack Greinke won a CY Young award. Start acting like it.

Yours Truly,
Carlos Bloganegra